Dreadfully behind...

Just finished watching The Philadelphia Story.

Why did it take me so long to see this movie? I loved it. It was marvelous and funny and so nicely written. A cozy movie.

Have been posting sketchily over the last few weeks. Not sure why.

Well, I have my suspicions, which mostly have to do with feeling a little lethergic and a little hidey. No, I do not want to go out. No, I do not want to work more than necessary. No, I want nothing more than to bury my head in comfortable pillows and watch faux lives unfolding on my television. Old movies preferred, new movies, movies I've seen a million times. Just something.

Perhaps I'm depressed.

I came out of it briefly last night during a walk down on the beach. It was windy and unseasonably warm and damp -- in other words, my favourite kind of night. And a treat to be had in what should be the dead of winter. The lake was lighter than the sky -- with a slight glow, like the water was milky and opaque. So much wind and lamplight.

And for a little while, I felt less numb.
But I awoke this morning and was back to feeling submerged.

I'll come back. I promise. It's just taking longer than normal this time.

The weird thing about dreams...

Had an odd one last night.

Was competing in a long-time race (one of those weeks-long type things). The prize was $1 million, but you had to carry it over the finish line. The money was kept in a brown briefcase. On the last morning, while the other contestants bickered and argued, I quickly snatched the briefcase, zipped through an obstacle and raced for the finish, pushing and fighting off the other contenders -- one of whom was a man with only one arm.

I make to the finish... barely. I collapse. The briefcase is opened. Inside is white linen. The money was replaced the night before by most of the team, who tucked it away elsewhere and didn't tell me. I laugh to show I'm a good sport, but inside I think, "Fuuuuuck!" Fortunately, they had all decided to share the money anyway -- though I get significantly less than the conspirators.

Did I mention this all takes place underwater?

But on to today.

Just now, found out my little temporary gig that I've been doing for the last two and a half months is ending after Wednesday.

And once again, my briefcase is empty. I'm at the finish line.

Time to start I new race, I guess.

Wear fur?

Trent Reznor has a message for you...

See the video here.

We fought The Man...

...And for once, we won.

Chris and I signed up for Vonage a week or two ago (voice-over IP --- much cheaper and runs off high-speed Internet line) in order to finally shed the shackles of Bell Canada for good.

We have been freed. Liberated.
Screw you, Bell, and your shitty customer service and ass-reaming prices. For too long have you ruled. You have become lazy, swollen and indolent.

For more than $6 less than the very cheapest Bell basic service, we now have all the fancy features (voice mail, call display, etc, etc), unlimited Ontario long distance and 500 minutes anywhere in North America. You get to keep your phone number. They're offering free hook-ups, a free month... (Why wouldn't we switch, when we could pay less than $40/month where we were previosuly paying between $70 - $85/month?)

The only drawback was that you couldn't have multiple extensions without farting about with wireless systems or other bullshit.

That is, until Chris discovered that if you remove the phone line into your apartment/house (removing any possible electrical current from the existing lines) and plugged the Vonage router directly into your phone jack, you instantly have service to every jack in your place.

Take that, Bell.

(It's a small victory... but a victory nonetheless.)

Prime Minister Harper

....boo.

Election Day Warning...

It's election day. It's time for us to elect a new leader -- or grimace in distaste as Stephen Harper and his ultra-conservative Conservatives are voted in. His image consultant have worked magic since the next election... people are actually buying into the Harper personality. For the sake of those of us not in in the upper echelons of income -- or middle-aged, white-collar, caucasian males for that matter -- please, please, please think about what you're doing before ticking off that little Conservative box.

But don't eat your ballot in protest. You'll be arrested.

And it will taste bad.

It's a lovely day out -- clear, sunny and snow-free. As nice a day as you could ask for.
Yet somehow I feel as though I'm preparing for a funeral.

Stupid shady Liberals. I blame you.

Deja vu

The furnace broke early this morning. It's like last summer's pile of domestic disasters. And naturally, the cold air has returned and we are once again bereft of springlike conditions.

I will say that space heaters are a fine thing in these situations.

Am currently listening to Gotan Project and Edith Piaf. Chris is enjoying the melodic strains of... Alan Jackson.

I fear for future offspring of this union.

So old...

Was having a terrific time this evening -- went out with some friends, had a couple of drinks and wasn't feeling quite as hideous as usual -- when I caught a glimpse of my face in the streetcar window.

I looked old.

Like, more that 10 years older than I actually am.

Is this it? Is it all downhill from here? Where all I can expect is to progressively look older and more haggard as the years fly by? Christ. I might as well fling myself into Lake Ontario.

A depressing thought. Ironically, as I stared at myself and thought, "Jesus, could I look any more bloated and nastier?" I was complimented by two people for looking well this evening.

Perhaps I ought to do as older, psychotic Hollywood types have done in past, and just cover all my mirrors. Avoid the truth.

I'm not yet ready for middle age. Or behaving as though I have nothing to live for but future possible children.

On a mildly-related note -- I hate parents who hide behind their children as reasons to not do something, or behave as though they're satisfied with their lives even though they're secretly unhappy.

I have no problems with people who have gone out in the world, seen things, come home and raised families. I have major issues with people who have played the safe, predictable course, are secretly miserable, and pretend all is going according to plan.

Honestly. How do you expect your children to learn about adventure and life if you've never bothered to do it yourself?

Argh. Argh. Ugh.

It's late.

Have been feeling surly all day -- with two exceptions.

1) Finally broke out my new Samsung MP3 player (1 GB) and have shoved a shitload of my favourite songs on it.

2) Discovered several new bands I like, thanks to Limewire -- sorry, all you download naysayers, but it's the only way to listen to more than 30 seconds without shelling out a pile of cash. And I'd also like to thank Ro, who kept yodelling the praises of The Editors (am enjoying them so far -- favourite track so far is "Munich" after initial listening session).

Gonna brave the cold city in the late night and go for a walk/run.

Nighty night.

It's an angry day...

Ever have one of those days when just about every person you speak to/email makes you curl up your fists in frustration?

On top of that, I received a vexing email -- a game publicist had contacted me asking why one of the mags I work for was telling them I was covering a game that wasn't out for another two months. On one hand, I want to tell them to eat shit. On the other, I enjoy having my gaming column.

So I shall start shopping around.

The Thermostat War... It's funny because it's true

The Onion - Marital Frustrations Channeled Through Thermostat.

Only in our house, the war continued all through the winter as my father refused to put the heat past 17 degrees celsius (62 degrees for the U.S. folks) -- and that was in the warmest room in the house. Late at night and during the day (everyone was at work or school), it was dropped down to 14 degrees (57 degrees).

Thermostat was rigged up with timers that were locked up in the basement.

By mid-winter, our front hallway had frost formed in the corners.

My father also put a timer on the television -- no TV except between six p.m. (when he came home) and 11 p.m. (when he went to bed).

Tory McCrapness

Today the news media are gleefully pointing out that the Conservative party has a massive lead in the polls and that creepy-eyed Stephen Harper could possibly get a majority.

I've said it before, I'll say it again -- I would rather deal with slightly-shady Liberals than face another Conservative government. I'm furious at Martin and the Liberals for putting the country in the place... and at Jack Layton, too, for supporting and co-instigating the vote of non-confidence.

Hello, reduced GST tax and tax cuts for high-income individuals and corporations. So long government programs, health care, school funding and gay marriage. Et bonjour to support for the new U.S. regime.

And all I can hear is my mothers voice saying, "Wow, someone has really been putting some hard work into Harper's image." I liked him better before -- when his true colours weren't as well hidden and polished.

Looks like north Americans will need to find a new country to flee to whilst our respective countries are managed by Conservative/Republican white boys.

Suggestions? (Preferably somewhere warm, s'il vous plait. Et merci.)

I think I can, I think I can...

I have pretty new running trainers.

Rather than fork out the $180 (not including 15% tax) for the latest Nike Tailwinds, I was pleased to discover -- quite by accident -- that a sports store downtown had new shoes from previous years that were never sold.

So I have Tailwinds from two years ago. They are white, with blue and reflective shit (no, not literally) on them. They were $99. I was delighted.

So I'm going to undertake running once again. Start slow -- at the gym and on the treadmill. I tried doing this last February, and completely destroyed my two big toes (and learned that I have unfortunately inherited my father's penchant for only being able to run in Nike shoes. Something about the way our toes are shaped). It's only been during the last month that I've been able to justify buying new trainers.

So it will be all horrible and embarassing for at least a month. I wish I had smallers tits.

If all goes well, I'll be able to start running outdoors once spring arrives. Cross your fingers for me. It's been years since I was in peak running form. I plan to rectify that.

Got a problem with gay cowboys, huh?

Was shocked to see a theatre in Utah has pulled Brokeback Mountain from it's screening schedule (Utah Theatre Cancels Brokeback Mountain). While the manager reportedly declines to comment, other dickheads in Utah have opened their bigoty little traps.

Gayle Ruzicka, president of the conservative Utah Eagle Forum, said not showing the film set an example for the people of Utah.
"I just think (pulling the show) tells the young people especially that maybe there is something wrong with this show," she said.


I love how people use kids as a reason to hide behind their own narrowminded and petty lives.

I love how people see being a bigoted fuck as setting an example.

I love how to world is falling to shit at every little corner, yet there are still parts of the U.S. that are wasting energy and indignant righteousness wallowing in their little homophobic bubbles.

And all this after reading Ro's blog and finding out he's been dealing with anti-semitic critics who have issues with Tali being Jewish. Why can't ignorant people just shut their mouths and die already?

Props to me...

OK, so it isn't edited quite as smoothly as I would have liked, but it still ain't too bad a piece.

This is the story I did on Eli Roth (go to NOW Magazine) that appeared on newsstands today. I was pretty tired and overworked when I wrote it, but it could have been way worse. Now the questions exists as to whether they'll let me do another feature. We shall see.

Went to the gym for the first time in weeks. I was kinda tired, still sick and hungry -- therefore the gym kicked my ass. Hugely. My ears were ringing and I was getting lightheaded, so I had to stop. But have decided to try and kick the treadmill's ass this year. Need new shoes first.

Anyone know where I can buy Nike Tailwinds... cheap?

The couch, o it calls for me

It's been a bad while for posts -- I do apologzie.
You know, for all seven of you who read this, or whatever.

Am still a bit under the weather from this bizarre cold I picked up. I'm not full-on sick, but my energy levels are pathetic and I have that annoying sinus headache where even your cheekbones are sensitive.

So I've been lying low, doing a bit of work while I can, and spending a bit of time (well, part of yesterday) watching more TV than I have in the last month. The bonus side is that I finally was able to see Audition (rented it) - a rather sinister and not very nice Japanese film that had some truly gruesome things in it. Which was fun.

Also watched Bread And Tulips, an Italian comedy that made me want to up and move to Italy... something I actually would like to do when my finances stabilize somewhat. You know, in about 23 years.

It's nothing short of a dreary day today -- rainy, dark and somewhat depressing (though rain is always more preferable than snow). An excellent day for lying down under a fuzzy blanket and watching terrible, horrible movies (like Practical Magic. Hooo!) and Sex And The City DVDs.

Yes, it is only when I am truly tired and unwell that I fully wallow in my grotesque girliness...

Happy effing new year to one and all...

New year's resolutions? Ha!
Well, we'll see.
Here are a few...


1) Drop some more weight
2) Gym more often
3) Publish some bloody books
4) Kick some writing ass this year
5) Try to be more up front with people
6) Allow myself to emotionally connect once in a blue moon
7) Yoga. More yoga
8) Travel -- go somewhere interesting for a change
9) Tell people to fuck off... repeatedly if necessary
10) Accept criticism (this is, unfortunately, a major problem)
11) Criticize others more often (the only way I'll be able to deal with #10 effectively)
12) Enjoy the hell outta life


And that's it. I'm sure there's more, but I have many, many many martinis (lychee and too-too delicious white choco-raspberry one) swilling through my veins, so that'll be it for now.