So old...
Was having a terrific time this evening -- went out with some friends, had a couple of drinks and wasn't feeling quite as hideous as usual -- when I caught a glimpse of my face in the streetcar window.
I looked old.
Like, more that 10 years older than I actually am.
Is this it? Is it all downhill from here? Where all I can expect is to progressively look older and more haggard as the years fly by? Christ. I might as well fling myself into Lake Ontario.
A depressing thought. Ironically, as I stared at myself and thought, "Jesus, could I look any more bloated and nastier?" I was complimented by two people for looking well this evening.
Perhaps I ought to do as older, psychotic Hollywood types have done in past, and just cover all my mirrors. Avoid the truth.
I'm not yet ready for middle age. Or behaving as though I have nothing to live for but future possible children.
On a mildly-related note -- I hate parents who hide behind their children as reasons to not do something, or behave as though they're satisfied with their lives even though they're secretly unhappy.
I have no problems with people who have gone out in the world, seen things, come home and raised families. I have major issues with people who have played the safe, predictable course, are secretly miserable, and pretend all is going according to plan.
Honestly. How do you expect your children to learn about adventure and life if you've never bothered to do it yourself?
I looked old.
Like, more that 10 years older than I actually am.
Is this it? Is it all downhill from here? Where all I can expect is to progressively look older and more haggard as the years fly by? Christ. I might as well fling myself into Lake Ontario.
A depressing thought. Ironically, as I stared at myself and thought, "Jesus, could I look any more bloated and nastier?" I was complimented by two people for looking well this evening.
Perhaps I ought to do as older, psychotic Hollywood types have done in past, and just cover all my mirrors. Avoid the truth.
I'm not yet ready for middle age. Or behaving as though I have nothing to live for but future possible children.
On a mildly-related note -- I hate parents who hide behind their children as reasons to not do something, or behave as though they're satisfied with their lives even though they're secretly unhappy.
I have no problems with people who have gone out in the world, seen things, come home and raised families. I have major issues with people who have played the safe, predictable course, are secretly miserable, and pretend all is going according to plan.
Honestly. How do you expect your children to learn about adventure and life if you've never bothered to do it yourself?
posted by /hg | 3:17 a.m.
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