Squirrel Assault: Day Five

Just when you think you've erected a nice, solid defense, along comes a squirrel. (You thought I was going to say something like "raccoon" or "buffalo," didn't you?)

Yes, when I brought dishes to the kitchen, there it was, sitting on the counter. Caught in the act. Actually, it was technically before the act, as later inspection showed no damage. Thank god it couldn't get into my recently made stash of hand-dipped chocolate-covered ginger...

But this time, there was no fury. No anger. Just gentle confusion. Even the squirrel's panicked getaway seemed lacklustre and somewhat monotonous.

"How exactly are you getting in here?" I asked politely.
"I'll never tell," murmured the rodent, sweetly batting its little lashes while simultaneously scanning for a quick exit.
"You realize, of course, that this is growing tiresome."
"Of course," agreed The Squirrel. "But I'm winning, so I will never give up!"

With that, he (she?) gave a menacing laugh, and slipped through the other side of the window pane, which hadn't been properly sealed on the left side.
"I see..." I said to myself. And with that, I removed the screen from the window entirely, and replaced it with a glass pane.

Meanwhile, Chris is planning to get a loaded gun, open up every single window (with exposed loaves of bread), and sit and wait -- a la Michael Madsen in Kill Bill Vol. 2 -- for the squirrel to arrive.