The trouble with weddings...

If you are in a committed relationship and living with your partner, attending a wedding can be a precarious thing indeed.

You see, I've no wish to be married. Ever.

Chalk it up to a lifetime of watching most marriages fail spectacularly, or in other cases, last with longtime resentments and/or eventual estrangement -- regardless of living arrangements.

It adds up to the same thing -- in most (though will concede not all) cases, the final result is unhappiness. Don't get me wrong. I will happily rejoice in a loved one's engagement and nuptial ceremony. I share their delight, their optimism and their hope.

But it is not for me.

The only thing I can see marrying for are the presents -- and when you've lived with someone for a decade, what do you really need? Nothing. (OK, I love money. Cheques would be lovely.) But we don't need china, or silver or anything of that household nonsense.

I don't ever see myself changing my name. I've been me my whole life... why would I want to be someoone else? And why on earth would I ever take on a husband's name? I'm not part of "his" family anymore than I was before. I haven't left my own behind. A name is one of the few things you have your whole life. And while many are happy to become Mrs. Whatsisname and await that moment their whole lives, I am not one of them.

I'm a firm agnostic. So no religious rites, ceremonies or figureheads are wanted or needed. Wedding dress? Nay, thanks. I do not wish to be clad in white and looking virginal (ha!) so that I may be presented. I do not need to announce to friends and family that I love my partner. I don't need a piece of paper to outline our commitment.

As a common-law couple, we're legally bound in the eyes of the law, so benefits and shared property are a non-issue.

And frankly, the rates of divorce amongst common-law couples are astronomically higher than almost every other group.

So you can imagine my chagrin when Chris suddenly begins chatting about our ceremony, or that perhaps I might like to have a party and invite all my friends and family. (My response: Why would I need a wedding for that?)

He wants marriage. I do not. He wants a church, white dresses and all the usual trappings and fripperies. I do not.

I like the fact that we don't need marriage to be happy. We're here simply because we want to be.

And that's just the way it is.
But it may become a contentious issue in the future, I suspect. Or sooner.

Eek.