Tucked away for the weekend...

And the week is finally over. Hectic, frustrating, disappointing -- and yet another week to go.

On Thursday night, I'm heading up north with Chris for a mini vacation. A week. I'm hoping for lots of beach time, decent weather and perhaps a reassessment of the old career thing.

I hate all this self-reflection bullshit. I hate rehashing my perspective, and I hate having to do it regularly. Most of all, I hate the fact that I lack the confidence to just go after what I want and get it.

Confidence, I think, is key. It's the self-doubt that will get you every time. I'll admit a tiny, secret part of me wanted people to read my stuff, think it brillient (or at least interesting and reasonably well-done) and voila -- the career would be born.

It's never that easy, though, is it?

I feel like I'm in a race with the rest of the world, but somehow my shoelaces are tied tightly together. While people run by, I'm still working through the knots, breaking fingernails and practically screaming in frustration.

And every time I think I have a knot loosened, another one is there to tangle me up.

How is it that this is always so much easier for other people? Or have I missed some important class that everyone else has taken?

I hate stumbling.