Let my guard down...? What?

My horoscope today says, "Today try to let your guard down and share more of your inner self with people who are relatively new in your life."

Ok. Share more of my inner self to new people.
That could be you.

Inner self... right. Dirty secrets? Not so dirty secrets?

How about the fact that I was a somewhat accomplished shoplifter in my youth? Just petty things, and I wasn't silly enough to do it very often, but it was a rather entertaining -- and somewhat lucrative -- impulse.

The inclination occasionally descends every once in a while, where I think, "I could totally get away with this." Followed by, "Dear christ, I'm 32. Don't be such a twat."

At which point, my brain simply responds with, "Exactly. You're hardly an obvious target. Get to it."

As I said, one day, my mental faculties will disappear and whatever retraints currently in place will disintegrate. And then, by golly, I shall be a terribly interesting and somewhat naughty personage.

Well, I always did think being arrested would be an intriguing experience. Though I'd rather save it for the Great Bank Robbery. And when they ask me why I did it, I shall simply respond with the truth.

"I wanted to pay my student loans. What else?"