Getting to bed is so very trying...

Not sure if it's residue from my childhood, but I always dread going to bed. I'm similar to little kids this way, the way they always find little distraction to keep them from actually crawling between their covers and sleeping.

Computers are excellent distractions. So are books. And dishes. And laundry. And... well, you get the point.

Yet I love sleep so very much.

So why the reluctance?

I suspect it has something to do with the fact that I'm absurdly nocturnal. Even now, it's well past 2 a.m. I'm tired, yet bed just seems to require so much effort. And naturally, the more exhausted you are, the harder it is to fall asleep.

I also suspect it has something to do with the fact that I suffered from recurring nightmares as a kid... and actually, well into my adulthood. I have a reasonably good stranglehold on it now -- most horrifying things can now be modified, or observed in a rather detached manner. For example, the other night, I dreamt I was watching security camera footage on my computer (the kind where you don't get to see each frame) where of one of my friends in a hospital bed -- she was restrained, yet managed to sit up with her hair falling over her face.

And suddenly this enormous, shadowy man-shape slithered out on either side of her and crushed the life out of her.

In the dream, I was merrily horrified by the act of watching a close friend die. When I recollect it, however, I find it errie and utterly disturbing.

And now I feel even less inclined to go to bed. Damn.


Other things:

- My mum just arrived this evening for a weekend visit. Yay!
- NXNE first night... far more fun when one has the option of following one's whims
- "Whorrifying": [hore-iff-eye-ing] adj. To be used when describing tramp-like qualities or sleazy attire found on another individual.
- And I finally found P's blog. Ha! And naturally, being joyfully paranoid, the first thing I did was check to see if there was anything horrible about me. I'm so self-centred... but does it count if it's in a self-derogatory way?

OK. Sleep now.
Seriously.
And... sleep!
Any second now...
I can do this.
It's just sleep, right?