Just let go...

I'm not sure Montreal gave me the perspective I wanted.

I returned home after a fun and busy weekend of trotting about Montreal -- food, clubs, bars, shopping... stuff. When i returned, there was no work. No income coming in.

And while kids book #4 is nearing completion, I find myself assessing my situation.

No income coming in (well, very little -- a month's worth at most).
No drive to pitch magaizne ideas that are likely to be ignored, stolen or pay very poorly.
The feeling of pending failure.
The feeling of pending bankruptcy.
Fear. Period.

I suspect I'm wasting my time.

So now what? What wonderfully satisfying and dream-shattering career might I begin planning for? It's times like this when I see the attraction of flinging oneself from the CN Tower while mightily flipping the bird at the world.

One career failed, or simply flailing.
Dare I attempt another?

In happier news, a friend of mine has just welcomed his second child -- a wee boy -- into the world.

I'm always amazed people are still procreating as the world becomes an increasingly shitty place, but still... good for them. They've been talking about marriage and family since the early '90s (and earlier, I suspect), so one must applaud their sagacious planning.

They're of that ilk that claims they still want to be friends -- but I secretly wonder if they're only saying it out of politeness and obligation.

Question: How does one offer a "get-out-of-friendship-free" card without sounding like an insecure lunatic?

Answer: One doesn't. Because one is, in fact, a lunatic.

(For the obtuse -- that "one" would, of course, be me.)