Why do I even bother?

Sometimes you can have a friend who you hardly ever argue with. You can debate, disagree and get all manner of argument-y, and they'll simply sit back and shrug at you.

But every once in a while, you come across someone who is defensive, aggressive and so damn sure they're right that they'll come out guns blazing, and fire off all manner of insults and generalizations. In short, they'll overreact.

Such is Ro, this fellow in Scotland who I correspond with. Intelligent, fierce, amusing and introspective, he can also be one helluva a dickhead. Yesterday, in response to someone who commented on his blog that Ro was overprivileged -- assuming that travelling to Europe, Africa and the US on a near non-stop basis for pleasure was an indulgence few could enjoy -- Ro fired off a great giant missive, verbally attmpting to impale said person.

While the fellow may be focused on material things, promotions and careers, RO -- in true form -- went off and attacked all people who don't travel more than once a year. He thanked them for living useless, boring lives... and giving him more space on the plane, since their fat asses weren't wedged in the seats.

Failing, of course, to sympathize that most people who workly every day do it simply to survive, forgetting that having the financial means to travel non-stop (economy fares or no) is a luxury most don't have.

Today.... it was my turn.

While posting a comment on Ro's blog (the girl he was dating bought him a birthday gift that was thoughtful and appropriate... which he didn't recognize at the time, and went off about "Oh my god, am I getting fat?")

I posted a teasing reply (OK, so I forgot the smiley face -- but you can't go back in and edit posts):

"Not even the overdoing it thing -- sounds like she simply wanted to get you something to help with training.

And really, you are obsessed about your weight when it comes to preparing yourself for these things.

Actually, you're obsessed with weight period."


Actually, it was only half-teasing. I know he's in training, but he really does tend to go off at length about the horrors of gaining half an ounce.

Here was his very sweet reply to me:

"Ok, tubby, try and get your head around these simple facts...

I weigh, racing weight, 58 kg. If I carry 4kg extra - easily put on in about a week at the rate I eat if I don’t exercise – my body weight kicks up by 7%.

YOU try running hard with an extra 7% bodyweight bouncing around your tummy. Believe me, it turns something that’s hard but do-able into something that feels akin to torture. Weight = pain, hence the ‘obsession’.

And that entirely ignores the fact that fat don’t look nice. Who the hell is turned on by fat? Ines works her ass off to stay skinny, and she’s every right to expect I do the same, as has anyone I’m with.

It’s a matter of trying to be the best you can be with what god gave you, both mentally and physically. You make an effort for those you love; this reflects in your attitude and your approach towards them as people, and they way we look and dress when we’re with them.

We try. Or, rather, we should."


Translation: "If you're skinny, you love the people you're with. If you're fat, your a lazzy, ugly piece of shit who cares nothing for people."

"Tubby?" He fucking called me tubby?

Them's fightin' words to someone who spends -- at the very least -- an hour a day exercising, be it cardio at the gym, weight training (circuit and free weights), lengthy brisk walks, biking, tennis, a bit of swimming, tai chi... not to mention daily sit-ups and pushups.

After 18 months of activity, I've lost a reasonable amount of weight. I have a fair amount of muscle... and yes, I'm still overweight. But fuck... I'm trying.

But goddamn... "Tubby?" Suddenly -- after starting to hate my body a little less -- I feel disgusting, flubby and gross. All that work and progress disappears. And I hate the fact that it's still such a sore spot.

Worse still is that Ro knows this.

There's nothing worse than people who call themselves your friends... but get angry and do the best they can to make you feel as bad about yourself as possible -- simply because they can.

That's about as unfriend-like as you can get. Not to mention patronizing, insensitive and just fucking rude.

What an utter asshole.