"Don't go quietly..."

In an unexpected turn of events, I heard from a friend who disappeared on me over the last year. I had written them an email recently -- a sort of last-ditch attempt to try to establish relations before throwing up my hands in exasperation and bailing for good.

It was, I thought, a futile effort.

So you can imagine my surprise when I received a very thorough and nice email -- full of excuses, of course, but they were unexpectedly honest.

I was immediately very receptive and delighted -- though somewhat annoyed at being forced to sit in the Friendship Pending waiting room while they figured out their life.

I'm not a terribly patient person, you see.

But having slept on it, doubts started creeping in. Why pursue a relationship with someone who so clearly doesn't have the time and/or inclination for friends? There's nothing I find so abhorrent as people who keep their friends waiting on leashes for that one day a year when they need to get out -- have a break from their humdrum life and reconnect with the world.

Then you hear nothing for months and months... or a year or two.

Most people say this, but I have massive trust issues. Seriously. Throw a little paranoia into the mix and a general sense that people don't ever like me as much as they may indicate... Well, you get the idea. My friends are a very careful and cautiously selected group of people.

And yes, I do feel the tiny urge to punish this one. To say, "You know what? Screw this. I'm not your little friend-on-a-shelf. Have nice fucking life. Enjoy your midlife crises when your marriage is shite, your kids are independent and you have nothing left."

But I am, in essence, a nice person. I just don't like the idea of having half-life friends.

So I dunno. Do I forgive them? Or do I forget them completely?