It's true... high school sucked.

Out of a morbid sense of curiosity (as opposed to any real feeling of nostalgia or genuine urge to talk to anyone), I joined ClassMates.com.

As a lark.

I used a fake name. And I'm fascinated with all the names of people I've forgotten or supposedly even knew... even if I shared a classroom with most of them at some time or another.

Bring a realist, I know that most of the remotely interesting people I knew probably stay far away from such an insipid little site -- or, like me, use fake noms de plumes. What cracks me up is the message board for my school. Full of dumb, sparse comments. "Our highschool football team was the worst ever" and "who was your favourite teacher?"

Never anything interesting like, "Who went to prison?" "How many people had illegitimate babies?" or "How many of the queer student population had to move to other cities before they could leave the closet safely?"

But in much the same way I like seeing other people's houses (not in a creepy, stalking way... it's just fun to get a glimpse into foreign worlds), I wish I could see what these people look like now. Who looks amazing, or who crumpled under the weight of reality... or which people wish they were still back in their high school glory years.

I very nearly went to my high school reunion for this very reason. Oh, to be a fly on the wall and smirk all superior-like.

But some things are best avoided. Why pine for a past that's gone (and I never particularly liked that much anyway)? The present always has some much interesting stuff going on. I can barely keep up as it is.

Besides, I could never be one of those old ladies who you spot on the street and say, "OK -- she was in the prime of her youth in such-and-such year, as evidenced by dated clothing, hairstyle and mannerisms."

I mean, I saw a woman on the subway a couple of weeks ago with gold L.A. gear aerobic shoes on. And stretch pants! Horrifying... yet strangely compelling in a time-warp sort of way.