As a token of our ending friendship, I give you...

...These Crocs.

You know... the shoes? Those awful bright foamy thing that are suited to children and gardeners -- but people wear anyways?

I was chatting with a friend and discussing how a very close friend had really pissed me off (I was unduly harsh with a comment -- but before I could retract it, they sent me this incredibly insulting, contemptuous, bloated-with-ego pile of bullshit).

You see, I'm trying to work on becoming less judgemental as I age... so it freaks me out when I see people making snap judgements that are not only inaccurate, but terrifically condescending.

Anyway, I was telling mychum about it, and said, "You know, everyone makes judgements. I know I do -- but I also make a concerted effort to see the other side...Except for Crocs."

(While I support the theory of crocs -- ultra-comfy, affordable, moderately environmentally friendly, anti-fashion -- I have to say that unless they're on the feet of children, I have an unnatural hate for them. By all means, do wear them at your leisure. But I can't say I have any affection for them whatsoever.)

Anyway, we've decided that the gift of these heinous pieces of footwear would be the ultimate seal of death for most friendships. So I say, so be it!

When telling a friend goodbye for good, finalize your exit with the gift that will make them never want to speak to you again:

Crocs.