Me? ...Intense?
One day I will have to sit down and update this blog properly. I've been meaning to move it for ages, but... well, there's always something else to do, isn't there?
Went out with some friends for an evening of boozing and dancing -- felt like celebrating after receiving a big fat cheque. Finally, I can buy a round of drinks, and pay cab fare while airily waving off protests. Naturally, this isn't something I'll be able to do regularly, but for this one time... well, it's nice to treat people.
But the unsettling part of the evenign wasn't Mad Max Woman (seriously, she belonged in the Thunderdome chanting, "Two men enter, one man leaves.") or the Kate Beckinsale wannabe-playing-latex-clad vampire. It came from a simple discussion.
During the evening, a friend admitted, "I usually tend to hang out with people who are intense... though I never believed I was particularly intense."
I looked at him and said cheerfully, "Well, fortunately for you, I'm not even remotely intense."
He looked at me for a moment, considering.
"Of course you're intense," he said simply. "You speak your mind. That makes people uncomfortable."
I looked at him skeptically. While I do speak my mind -- I've never been one to hold much back (I can hear snorts of amused agreement coming from a number of parties) -- I find it hard to reconcile my bluntness with making people uncomfortable.
Does this constitute being intense?
Because yes, once upon a time, I was a rather intense young lady. I took things very seriously. I loved the darker side of things. But in my older and more current days, I've endeavoured to cultivate and maintain an air of superficiality. Hard work, but I find the pay-off is enormous.
Although I will admit that I occasionally fear that some folks may mistake my newly-acquired silliness/shallowness for actually being me -- when the truth is that I find it so much easier to relate to people this way. Rarely are people interested in you being yourself... warts, darkness, depression and all. No one likes to know exactly how dark and how deep other people go.
So hence the fluffy attitude. So you can imagine my surprise -- after years of careful superficial cultivation -- I'm accused of being intense.
I dunno. This requires some pondering. While I don't truly believe, I'm willing to at least consider. If true, I will certainly need to realign things.
Went out with some friends for an evening of boozing and dancing -- felt like celebrating after receiving a big fat cheque. Finally, I can buy a round of drinks, and pay cab fare while airily waving off protests. Naturally, this isn't something I'll be able to do regularly, but for this one time... well, it's nice to treat people.
But the unsettling part of the evenign wasn't Mad Max Woman (seriously, she belonged in the Thunderdome chanting, "Two men enter, one man leaves.") or the Kate Beckinsale wannabe-playing-latex-clad vampire. It came from a simple discussion.
During the evening, a friend admitted, "I usually tend to hang out with people who are intense... though I never believed I was particularly intense."
I looked at him and said cheerfully, "Well, fortunately for you, I'm not even remotely intense."
He looked at me for a moment, considering.
"Of course you're intense," he said simply. "You speak your mind. That makes people uncomfortable."
I looked at him skeptically. While I do speak my mind -- I've never been one to hold much back (I can hear snorts of amused agreement coming from a number of parties) -- I find it hard to reconcile my bluntness with making people uncomfortable.
Does this constitute being intense?
Because yes, once upon a time, I was a rather intense young lady. I took things very seriously. I loved the darker side of things. But in my older and more current days, I've endeavoured to cultivate and maintain an air of superficiality. Hard work, but I find the pay-off is enormous.
Although I will admit that I occasionally fear that some folks may mistake my newly-acquired silliness/shallowness for actually being me -- when the truth is that I find it so much easier to relate to people this way. Rarely are people interested in you being yourself... warts, darkness, depression and all. No one likes to know exactly how dark and how deep other people go.
So hence the fluffy attitude. So you can imagine my surprise -- after years of careful superficial cultivation -- I'm accused of being intense.
I dunno. This requires some pondering. While I don't truly believe, I'm willing to at least consider. If true, I will certainly need to realign things.
posted by /hg | 2:31 a.m.
3 Comments:
I wouldn't accuse you of coming across as intense. I generally assume that all intelligent people have a darker, more serious side to them and I'd include you in that assumption, but that's not how you seem socially.
But then people who speak their mind don't make me uncomfortable; they make me laugh.
Intense?
*splutter*
You are a lightweight dilettante with a will o’ the wisp intellect, unsuited for anything more intense that a brief sojourn to McDonalds to partake of one of their infamous nutritionally balanced meals.
:-)
Mmmm.
McDonald's.
Excellent idea, Ro. You are, as ever, a beacon of light in this horrible world. Or maybe that's french fries...
Huh.
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