My horn and its little bit o' tootin'

Sometimes, I can step outside of my own insecurities and self-loathing for a bit. And only for a few minutes. But I value these brief little moments where I can look at things objectively.

While waiting for long-overdue streetcar about an hour ago (seriously, guys, what the fuck -- 25 minutes on Queen Street?), I caught a glimpse of myself in a shop window. A shop I was desperately trying to avoid entering as have suddenly found myself penniless. (There's all of $13 in my bank account. And about $2.50 in my wallet. So very, very sad.)

And I didn't look like a fat piece of cow ass.

I mean, I tend to be pretty self-deprecating (much to the annoyance of a number of friends, one of whom who's hung up a verboten sign all over any cruel-to-myself comments), but for the first time since I started this whole gym thing -- almost a year ago -- I actually saw a difference.

Less ass. Less belly. Legs that are starting to look strong (though must point gratitude to the shockingly well-fitted jeans I found at Old Navy three weeks ago and haven't found since - why do they do that?).

So yay to me. I'm on my way to looking normal. It's an exciting world. One day, I might even be able to wear a bathing suit in public once again... well, perhaps not. One mustn't get ridiculous.

And CBC2 is playing what appears to be the musical score for West Side Story. An unusual choice for them during the day. Last week, they played the first two movements of Beethoven's Ninth Symphony.

I suspect they play these extensive pieces so they can slip out for a coffee, a few cigarettes or a stop at the local pub for a couple of pints.

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Quote Du Jour:

"An integral part of any relationship is knowing that you could be killed in your sleep at any time."
- T. Reznor