NEWS FLASH: The Return Of The Prodigal Rodent!

Noticed in the last day or two, while desperately procrastinating and avoiding the world in general, that something keeps scampering around the air conditioner in the attic.

It's back.
It's trying to get in the house.
And the damnable squirrel is trying to get in through the noisiest means possible.

I have a sudden fear that in the midst of our winter season, I will do something innocent like remove a DVD from the shelf (oh, Shawn Of The Dead, will you ever cease to amuse me?) -- and where the slim crack in the wall of DVDs lies, a black, beady eye will swivel around accusingly. There'll be an unnatural hiss, before the bushy tail flicks and the creature will launch itself at my unprotected head. Within the space of an hour, the apartment will be totalled as I launch a full-scale assault on the squirrel. (Note to self: clean firearms. Also dust mace.)

But today, while it scrabbled and thumped on the metal outside the window, Chris stood up and thumped the plexiglass (we've already tried asking our landlady for a proper window -- I don't think it will happen). He roared furiously at the squirrel, "I'm going to kill youuuuuuu!!!!"

Then he sat down on the couch, his face mild and peaceful, and delicately took a bite out of his pizza.