tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-136462912012-01-21T15:48:07.898-05:00You love it. You loathe it. <br> Either way, you can't help yourself. You are one of us. <br>(You are also a masochist. But that's OK.)/hgnoreply@blogger.comBlogger5421100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13646291.post-11790217344906303642012-01-21T15:45:00.002-05:002012-01-21T15:48:07.908-05:00

Me: Yes, I am officially a lady of leisure now.Older Sibling With Short Legs: Does that mean you’ll slow down when you’re walking now?Me: No. Me: Walk faster.

/hgnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13646291.post-22690650621363749702012-01-21T15:38:00.000-05:002012-01-21T15:43:20.908-05:00

I lost my job this week.It was sudden, unexpected and very fucking strange. The reasons for my release were vague.That said, severance gives me some time to figure out my next step -- hardly the worst thing for someone wanting badly to return to writing. Even if it IS a cruel, unrewarding and generally masochistic way to (try to) make a living. Have also found that am sleeping better, stomach

/hgnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13646291.post-29795454719858866142011-09-05T23:50:00.002-04:002011-09-05T23:58:54.175-04:00

My brain is jam-packed with random thoughts, music, impressions. I generally tend to process everything it once. Here is this evening's random sampling as an example:1) Thank god - my affection for James May has been justified. 2) If IKEA sells out the Korndal Green sofa cover before I find one -- and I find the IKEA customer service people have been lying to my and it IS reduced price -- there

/hgnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13646291.post-25641977943942878992011-08-23T23:37:00.002-04:002011-08-23T23:47:12.426-04:00

It's funny the way the human brain works. We twist and pull and stretch all manner of thoughts in our craniums. Some us might even be accused of doing this kind of activity excessively -- examining each piece of of information, idea or concept to the point where it is hardly recognizable. Yet at other times, the brain is far more subtle. Having reached a suitable course of action, it may

/hgnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13646291.post-18623487341744459012011-08-23T10:51:00.002-04:002011-08-23T10:52:09.899-04:00

/hgnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13646291.post-35211323781575125432011-08-23T09:54:00.002-04:002011-08-23T10:41:30.962-04:00

For those of you living in Canada, you already know that Jack Layton, the leader of our opposition in the House of Commons - and the leader of the NDP party - died yesterday. The entire country is feeling the loss of not only a charismatic, passionate politician (who was, shockingly enough, likable), but also feeling sadness born of watching someone labour ceaseless their entire life, only to to

/hgnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13646291.post-58196695146084727942011-08-22T00:17:00.001-04:002011-08-22T00:18:10.987-04:00

... it is both terrifying and necessary. And I am ashamed to admit how much I avoid it in my writing.

/hgnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13646291.post-29280773066136357332011-08-21T16:42:00.002-04:002011-08-21T16:49:37.846-04:00

As I consistently procrastinate finishing up the last draft of my book for my agent -- I so desperately want to move on from this book that I'm considering self-publishing it simply to make a few bucks -- my mind has been probing for other lucrative ways of writing. Yes, yes. Lucrative + writing = oxymoron. Come now, children. Let's consider it. Screenwriting is an art I may not actually

/hgnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13646291.post-81868406851684016952011-07-31T22:38:00.001-04:002011-07-31T22:42:06.004-04:00

It’s odd how a stranger’s journey can show you your own. It’s also not surprising, really, when I stop to think about it. When you’ve lived a life filled with reading other people’s tales – stories both imaginative and those based on the bitter and blithely thing named “real life” – it’s not so surprising to realize that the lessons you’ve had to learn are best described through someone else’s

/hgnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13646291.post-74606679788244335862011-07-31T22:34:00.002-04:002011-07-31T22:38:29.697-04:00

It's been a few years. Ok, maybe three. Ish.I don't expect readers. My only intent is a dumping ground of sorts for my addled little brain. A lot can happen in three years. An interesting story. I'll tell you about it sometime.In short - I'm separated, working for The Man (although like all things, it started with the best of intentions and went to hell once the company grew successful) and

/hgnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13646291.post-49456970699606565262008-12-28T22:36:00.005-05:002008-12-28T22:57:12.082-05:00

... Y'know, I don't even remember when or where I picked up that expression.Somewhere delightfully infantile, I'm sure.As per this year's Xmas theme, getting home from Nova Scotia was a total nightmare. Approximately 18 hours of travel and airport waiting. By 4 am, I had lost all patience and calm. Got to bed just after 5 (although felt like 6 am, due to time difference) and succeeded in not

/hgnoreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13646291.post-10192399225041634762008-12-26T11:43:00.002-05:002008-12-28T22:55:43.148-05:00

...Stomach flu.Happy Christmas to me.

/hgnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13646291.post-71827662203837217542008-12-25T19:53:00.006-05:002008-12-28T22:56:21.899-05:00

Time keeps slipping away from me when I don't notice it. Which, of course, gives me ample opportunity to let my blogging slide until I am indeed ready to pick up keyboard and mash words into it.It's Christmas day, and I've just gotten off the phone with my uncle. I am consistently amazed and horrified at just how stupid and idiotic I am capable of sounding to relatives. Years ago, I was dismayed

/hgnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13646291.post-10099848975811717322008-08-16T22:59:00.002-04:002008-08-16T23:02:46.703-04:00

Sometimes being impatient is incredibly wearing.On occasion, I have been able to sit back and say, "These things need time. Breathe, and wait."More often than not, however, I demand results. Sooner, rather than later. I don't need everything, but at least a few small tokens to get me through to the next stage.Chris maintains I am comprised entirely of id. "I want, gimme, gratification NOW."He

/hgnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13646291.post-80398949563575647442008-08-14T23:41:00.003-04:002008-08-14T23:54:58.819-04:00

Well, it's that time of year when I brave the eastern ocean air and family tempests. And lucky me, I brought the shitty weather from Toronto with me, so while Toronto begins to bask in a rarely seen spot of dryness and warmth (usually Toronto summers are roasting, but nae so much this year), Nova Scotia turns very cool and rather wet.A very sinister kind of torture for me, given the fact that I

/hgnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13646291.post-79878360852350425692008-08-08T01:09:00.003-04:002008-08-08T01:22:38.026-04:00

I didn't think anyone would notice when I clammed up for a bit.But for a while, I've realized that I've become dreadfully silent on my blog. Maybe it was a turn when an unexpected encounter made me turn inward and vague. Maybe it was was lack of things to say.Maybe it was simply because I couldn't bear to put into writing how I really feel about myself, and the direction my life has turned.Things

/hgnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13646291.post-59565415325677328802008-06-05T21:54:00.002-04:002008-06-05T22:02:23.737-04:00

Walking along the boardwalk last night, as I am wont to do these days, I felt a slight shift in the wind, in the scents and in the air.Warmth is coming. Summer. Heat and sun.But even so, life still manages to get all scrambled. Like eggs tossed in the pan with sharp glass. A few surprising epiphanies, and a few inclinations that I have tried to shut down are awakened once again.I'm feeling antsy,

/hgnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13646291.post-47703148239622830952008-05-09T21:33:00.002-04:002008-05-09T21:35:51.281-04:00

Weird mood.Not sure how much is due to the rather entertaining afternoon (and early evening) and the drinks, but right now, I feel like I'm waiting for something.No idea what what form it may take, or how delusional I may be.I'm sure it will go away in a few hours. I think.Unsettling.

/hgnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13646291.post-42732265672377622802008-05-08T00:29:00.003-04:002008-05-08T00:40:50.564-04:00

I've been spoiled by summers (and winters) in Nova Scotia. Visiting my parents, I've begun to take advantage of the heaviness of fog that sweeps across the town, eating sun and warmth and replacing them with a dense, damp mist.There's something I very much enjoy about the idea that the world around me only exists for a few metres in each direction -- and that little pocket of clarity follows me,

/hgnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13646291.post-20147671006851919562008-04-22T14:56:00.001-04:002008-04-22T14:58:36.631-04:00

Seems I found myself an agent after all.Neat.And as fine a tardy birthday present as I could have asked for.

/hgnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13646291.post-35900454359250532072008-04-19T15:51:00.003-04:002008-04-19T16:00:39.445-04:00

Today, I take yet another step into that murky territory know as "thirty something." I could be coy, but why bother? It's boring, and I don't exactly look (or act) my age. I've just turned 34.My intended present to myself was supposed to have been an agent, but that seems to have fallen through. So instead, I've decided to indulge in a four-day celebration of drinks, dinners, good food and

/hgnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13646291.post-59573823897021263432008-04-16T12:02:00.002-04:002008-04-16T12:04:46.534-04:00

It's a long shot, but I'm trying to locate a print of a piece of art by Lucian Freud. It's called Big Sue, and I'm having a helluva time finding even a postcard of the image anywhere.Were I disgustingly rich, I would try and purchase the thing, but for now, I simply would like a print to frame as a gift for someone. So if you ever come across it, do let me know...

/hgnoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13646291.post-67554415429999463522008-04-16T00:40:00.001-04:002008-04-16T00:42:03.335-04:00

"Were all stars to disappear or die,I should learn to look at an empty skyAnd feel its total dark sublime,Though this might take me a little time." --WH Auden

/hgnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13646291.post-84153589267266797832008-04-11T12:30:00.002-04:002008-04-11T12:55:34.848-04:00

I'm bored talking about myself, and I'm even more bored with listening or reading my sulking. And I've certainly had enough of the "get a real job" shit.So in my usual way, I'm going to quickly change the subject and discuss something else.I've recently found myself sickened by the machinations of psueudo Judeo-Christian organizations forcing their righteous, indignant little fingers into the the

/hgnoreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13646291.post-68317223570809524652008-04-07T13:00:00.001-04:002008-04-07T13:01:35.648-04:00

My horoscope today:"You need to stick it out through the current situation, no matter how much you want to cut and run. Your perseverance will pay off in the long run in a big, almost unimaginable, way."I just wish the bloody things were actually accurate and not just random musing of some chump sitting at a computer.

/hgnoreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13646291.post-4383857571671205742008-04-07T00:05:00.002-04:002008-04-07T00:18:02.089-04:00

Well, that was a fantastically fun (read: soul-shrinkingly miserable) weekend. I truly experienced the greatest professional joys (read: drowning in a glorious puddle of failure) and made en effort to enjoy the lovely weather (read: sulked and moped around the house and ate shitty food while watching shitty TV).For now, I haven't so much pulled myself out of the water so much as have grasped part

/hgnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13646291.post-88520646435579186682008-04-04T14:02:00.002-04:002008-04-04T14:13:25.438-04:00

So this is it.Today I started looking for a full-time job.I feel like such a failure. I keep trying not to burst into tears, but I will be honest enough to confess that I can barely see the keyboard right now. It is suspiciously blurry. I can't imagine why...This is shaping up to be a rather terrible day.My freelancing seems to have run out. I did my last assignment a few days ago, and asked my

/hgnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13646291.post-35939922882583883022008-03-29T22:21:00.003-04:002008-03-29T22:40:45.394-04:00

And once again, people's apathy and lack of imagination leads us to be one of the lamest cities ever.I headed down to the the beach (Ashbridges Bay) shortly before 8 pm struck, thinking the view of the skyline coupled with the minimized light pollution would make for some fascinating viewing. Was I ever in for a rude awakening.Even though Earth Hour started at 8, it was still pretty light out in

/hgnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13646291.post-20316719005457415822008-03-09T19:06:00.002-04:002008-03-09T19:10:03.943-04:00

It is 7:10 pm... and across the street, the last burnt orange rays of sunlight are fading from the rooftops across the street.Winter maybe have dropped another 30 cm on our already snow-ridden streets over the last two days, and there is ice and slush and snow everywhere -- but spring is well on its way when we get that one extra hour of sunlight.Snow, cold, a horrible cold and fatigue. I will

/hgnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13646291.post-7090509996277470872008-03-03T21:49:00.002-05:002008-03-03T21:50:56.225-05:00

It's just not winter unless the gods of health totally abandon me. Naturally, they chose to strike on the one day we get a thaw and double-digit temperatures. The rest of the week is expected to go back to below zero with snow.Grrr.I do hate this lack of energy thing, too. It's very non-productive.

/hgnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13646291.post-84788027945763559042008-02-26T22:17:00.003-05:002008-02-26T22:22:07.799-05:00

I just feel so bloody UGH right now. Not sure if it's due to money issues, the Winter That Lasts Forever (seriously, it's still dumping snow and pretending that we're stuck in an eternal January) or the fact that there's no bright spots in sight...I feel trapped and irritated. I would give almost anything to get the hell out of this country right now. If there was room on my credit card, I'd be

/hgnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13646291.post-90440944917292952252008-02-25T01:10:00.003-05:002008-02-25T01:14:40.566-05:00

After watching the Oscars (yet another dirty indulgence), I am still firmly convinced that Tilda Swinton is a million different kinds of awesome. On stage, on the red carpet (mud wrestling!), on film... Can she do wrong? I would argue not.Also confirmed greatness in Jon Stewart, Helen Mirren, people who worked on Juno and Gary Busy -- who isn't so much great as he is incredibly unpredictable in a

/hgnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13646291.post-10584458208257464622008-02-20T22:39:00.006-05:002008-02-21T18:15:50.692-05:00

Amateurish photos courtesy of me.

/hgnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13646291.post-86566394329146481782008-02-20T13:51:00.005-05:002008-02-20T22:43:48.440-05:00

Those familiar with the streets of Toronto have likely frequented Queen Street West on a regular basis. And those same people were likely stunned to awaken this morning with the news that a particularly beloved stretch -- about a block between Portland and Bathurst that hadn't succumbed to massive retail chains -- was destroyed by a six-alarm fire.As of right now, the fire is under control, but I

/hgnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13646291.post-25727008147881719122008-02-15T16:34:00.004-05:002008-02-15T16:52:46.830-05:00

I've been having a sucky time of it, and this poor little blog has suffered. Such endless whinging and sulking and hoping and... well, ultimately being crushed. But no longer, my friends. I'm on the sunny side of the street, as The Pogues used to sing. Well, not really. But for today, I'm doing a humble and short homage to the things that bring me joy...1) My humidifier.Sure, going to warm and

/hgnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13646291.post-35796439931557414732008-02-13T14:04:00.003-05:002008-02-13T14:18:32.169-05:00

I should have expected it.After a pretty cruddy week (the worse it is, the less likely I am to post any sort of blog), the gods briefly smiled upon me on Monday.They were small gestures, but really, you'd need to be a pretty self-involved asshole to not take the good things when she show up on your doorstep:1) A gift of dark chocolate2) The appearance of Vitamin Water in the Beaches' IGA (I

/hgnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13646291.post-9600369145826347902008-02-08T03:22:00.000-05:002008-02-08T03:24:24.762-05:00

Ah, how the universe does love to taunt me. My tiny crack has disappeared.Yet today was a good day. It was fun -- filled with friends, foods, drinks and good times.Although I think I ate too much at the tasty restaurant.There's a Food Baby in my belly. Ugh.

/hgnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13646291.post-11250244061063970262008-02-07T12:23:00.000-05:002008-02-07T12:25:16.131-05:00

Oh please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please

/hgnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13646291.post-73729378896127242882008-02-06T21:46:00.000-05:002008-02-06T21:54:07.660-05:00

So some silly twit in the weather department decided to order more snow for our fair province. Two large snowstorms in less than six days. Amusingly, they were interjected by a too-brief thaw.And all around the city, people simply shake their heads and sigh. It feels like Sunday today. Chris stayed from work, and there was tidying and laundry. With huge amounts of white stuff outside,

/hgnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13646291.post-44101598984384882772008-02-02T01:27:00.000-05:002008-02-02T01:30:52.487-05:00

Here we go.I am ambitious. I want to be successful. I really, really want this writing thing to work out for me. But the thought of success scares the piss outs of me -- even more so than the idea of failure.I'm what happens when the underachiever grows up. It's terrifying and not a little insane. And that's my quiet little bit of truth for a snowy February night...

/hgnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13646291.post-8578363534204138002008-02-01T19:15:00.000-05:002008-02-01T19:23:50.380-05:00

You know, you write a little break-up letter and the recipient goes batshit.Winter decided to flex its proverbial icy muscles today but dumping a crapload of snow on our fair polluted city.However, the joke is on winter, because everyone thought, "Screw this. I'm staying home today." Digging the car out from under the snow is never particularly amusing -- but was greatly entertained by some

/hgnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13646291.post-73753988096740096422008-01-28T12:55:00.000-05:002008-01-28T13:00:43.037-05:00

It's a little socialist love song by a Canadian band called Lowest of The Low.It's been one of my favourite songs for more more than a decade. Years ago, a friend married, and this was their wedding song. And I have never forgiven them for stealing it. There are some songs designed for you, and this one was mine.

/hgnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13646291.post-7499245989668115422008-01-27T14:38:00.000-05:002008-01-27T14:52:33.398-05:00

I think it's time we had "A Talk." We've been in this relationship for ages -- this on and off again thing that occurs every year. It's come to the point where I dread the time we spend together. Even the thought of seeing you taints my fall days. I long for the years where our relationship was one of mutual affection. You snowed, and I was happy. You were the fresh air that gave depth to my hot

/hgnoreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13646291.post-82724094408031465612008-01-24T14:08:00.000-05:002008-02-01T19:24:16.313-05:00

Ah. That's better.I figure screaming on my blog is significantly less unsettling for others than screaming in my house. Or outside.This yet another one of those times where it doesn't pay to be inherently impatient. And I am. But I hate waiting. Hate it. HATE. IT. And I loathe the pending possibility of hopes dashed. "Haven't had a dream in a long timeSee, the life I've hadCan make a good man

/hgnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13646291.post-77060773727579886042008-01-19T14:38:00.000-05:002008-01-19T14:40:50.705-05:00

Before the mammoth hype gets even worse, I will say that I saw it. I enjoyed it. It's a fun little movie provided you haven't gotten all geared up for it. And here's a hint -- watch the ocean in the very last scene.I'm pretty sure most people in our theatre missed this.

/hgnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13646291.post-53988161383953977372008-01-17T23:55:00.000-05:002008-01-18T00:04:04.919-05:00

Had one of those "days" today.I was pissy and tired and grumpy and stressed and frustrated. And I'm worried about Mr Greenbacks (or rather, his rather conspicuous absence), despite having a number of pots bubbling -- figuratively -- on the stove.In the grand scheme of things and on a macro scale, my day of grouchiness is nothing. I'm fully aware that I'm being petty, self-involved and petulant.

/hgnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13646291.post-45793284999342473372008-01-15T01:10:00.000-05:002008-01-15T01:20:53.540-05:00

I've just done something idiotic.After feeling antsy and twitchy all day, I confided to a group of chums that there's the teeniest chance that the publishing thing might go well -- or land itself smack in the toilet, where it will disappear with nary an audible "whoosh!"And in my life, this always seems to be the worst possible mistake. To admit that things are afoot before the results are in.

/hgnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13646291.post-39003926581813853342007-11-23T01:17:00.000-05:002007-11-23T01:21:16.700-05:00

I've shed my shackles of temping-dom.And once I come back from Ottawa this weekend, I'll be free. Free. Freeeeeeeeeeeee!Must keep focus, and if I can't actually exude genuine confidence, I'll fake it as well as I possibly can. Ideally, I'd fake it so well that i even believe it myself. Believe in myself. Ye gods. Affirmations. I might as well hose myself down and french-kiss the hydro wires now.

/hgnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13646291.post-86429754136300864412007-11-20T00:38:00.000-05:002007-11-20T00:48:25.614-05:00

Well, my first big suckfit when confronted with rejection is over and done with. Granted, I was kind of having "a week" -- one of those ones where you just feel crappy about yourself in general. The kind where you're lying curled up like a little invertebrate on the ground feeling somewhat used and abused and whammo! Someone kicks you hard in the cooch.So you'll have to forgive my excessive

/hgnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13646291.post-44039645804688336672007-11-13T20:00:00.001-05:002007-11-13T20:06:54.246-05:00

Finally heard back re: my romance manuscript. As suspected, they said no. Which is pretty damn insulting, given the amount of excessively shitty writing they publish. Which makes me wonder -- if the Publishers Of Crap don't want my writing, who will? I'm not even on par with bored housewives who suddenly pick up pen and write trite stories about sweet, two-dimensional blond-haired women and tall,

/hgnoreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13646291.post-64269808899073631132007-11-09T02:49:00.000-05:002007-11-09T03:08:57.275-05:00

When you eschew a normal, nine-to-five office job in favour of writing from home (or at least, when you're not whoring yourself out at a temp job several days per week), sometimes support comes from the places you least expect.In my case -- while I have support from my friends and partner -- I'm always delighted when I take a cab home and end up shooting the shit with my taxi driver. Nine times

/hgnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13646291.post-21901508990883963302007-11-01T10:45:00.000-04:002007-11-01T10:50:34.563-04:00

This is the day I've been dreading since spring.October is nice, and Halloween is always very entertaining (even when headache strikes).But I hate November first. All I can see in front of me for the next five months is grey clouds, icy breath, snow, slush, ice and misery. There's no turning back -- and even in Toronto, a Canadian winter can be a dreary thing.My grandfather has tentatively

/hgnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13646291.post-25765839246262765332007-10-28T18:58:00.000-04:002007-10-28T19:21:08.054-04:00

And whoosh! Another month goes by. Blame the soon-to-be-over (hopefully) temping hell. Not the the hours are that long, it's just that I find myself less inclined to sit at a computer typing my real-life nonsense when I can be sitting at my notebook computer typing fictional nonsense -- the kind that will never see the light of day. Was munching on dinner and watching Superman just now -- the

/hgnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13646291.post-57970217435413912092007-09-16T22:37:00.000-04:002007-09-16T22:53:40.501-04:00

Just got off the phone with my mother, who was telling me about her visit to her family's burial plot -- where my great aunt and uncle (still alive and well) were gleefully showing off their plots, complete with stone markers ("Celtic knots, and none of that flower business," said my mother)... all filled in except for the date."You know," I said, "It might be nice if you and dad made out a will

/hgnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13646291.post-70094026403046027812007-09-02T16:50:00.001-04:002007-09-02T17:05:27.819-04:00

I got a last minute invitation from a newly-wed friend to attend Evil Dead: The Musical with some folks. Since I had been interested in seeing it for some time (yes, I do know me a bit about the horror), I dove for the closet and felt compelled to wear a black shirt with dark jeans.Good thing, too.Our tickets were front row centre... me being dead centre. My friend's sister turned to me and said

/hgnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13646291.post-5769594954733647892007-08-30T01:38:00.000-04:002007-08-30T01:44:38.308-04:00

Low riding pants (with underwear showing) could be outlawed in Georgia.... no, seriously. They're thinking about it.Are you kidding me??? I'm ambivalent about the phenomena (or, in my opinion, the lack thereof), but this is just fucking ridiculous. There are so many things wrong with this kind of proposed legislation that I don't even know where to start: Atlanta's city council considers banning

/hgnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13646291.post-53933358522325200082007-08-30T01:02:00.000-04:002007-08-30T01:33:30.709-04:00

From Dictionary.com:id·i·ot /ˈɪdiət/[id-ee-uht] –noun1. an utterly foolish or senseless person.About a month and a half ago, I had a falling out with one of my closest friends in the world. Well, not so much a falling out as I got impatient, spoke too quickly, and it was exactly what she needed to throw our friendship into the rubbish bin.And much like any failed relationship, I'm still going

/hgnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13646291.post-918611390836502792007-08-27T23:20:00.000-04:002007-08-27T23:34:21.154-04:00

I will admit to occasionally reading a few celebrity gossip blogs. Not the fawning, "Oooo, famous people" claptrap, but the funnier and smarmy types. Hell, at one point, writing celebrity gossip funded my way of life for a couple of months (ah, the days of doing contract work for good cash).But occasionally, I wish they would leave some of these people alone -- the grieving ones. The sad ones.

/hgnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13646291.post-40115843415839088012007-08-24T13:04:00.000-04:002007-08-24T13:09:22.315-04:00

So yes. I got swindled out of my last $35 until Monday. The money was not in my mailbox as promised, and some shithead probably went off and bought crack or a blowjob because I'm too nice to be an asshole. I can't go to Starbucks and write this afternoon because I don't even have enough money to buy a lousy tea. So no, Ro, I'm not wise. I'm an idiot. And life seems to make a point of reminding me

/hgnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13646291.post-20499823763795860842007-08-23T23:49:00.001-04:002007-08-24T00:07:42.005-04:00

Ok, so I'm a chump.For someone who really is cynical, distrustful and "negative", I have a tendency to believe that most people are good.Now don't get me wrong. "People" as a collective universally suck. A violent virus on the surface of the earth. We're planetary acne -- explosions, infection and all. But people individually, face-to-face... well, they tend to be OK most of the time. As long as

/hgnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13646291.post-51976181373079371252007-08-16T11:41:00.001-04:002007-08-16T12:03:13.121-04:00

A little break never hurts.Was actually in Nova Scotia for a bit -- enjoying fresh air (scandalous!), good food (my mother rules) and hangin' with the fam. And this year had an extra special guest... Chris actually came to Nova Scotia for the first time. He might have had a better time if his trip didn't involve a visit to the emergency ward.Seems little towns don't have walk-in clinics. And

/hgnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13646291.post-31740045233724864012007-07-30T00:49:00.001-04:002007-07-30T00:53:38.447-04:00

I think I have a reasonably decent little camera. Just took this photo of the moon this evening (about half an hour ago) with my digital camera -- naturally, in order get this much detail, I had to rely on the digital zoom (Mmm, 48x).I dunno. I think it's pretty cool, anyway.

/hgnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13646291.post-36199077756630934932007-07-18T10:17:00.000-04:002007-07-18T10:19:38.991-04:00

Ah, Mcsweeney's. Jolly good fun.A Letter To Optimus Prime From His Geico Auto Insurance Agent.

/hgnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13646291.post-26985904228937619562007-07-17T19:14:00.001-04:002007-07-17T19:18:39.062-04:00

Yes indeed. Defend the moustache. Love it. Or grow your own. (I eagerly await menopause when I can nurse and coax my own Magnum PI-like growth.)In just in case you needed convincing, swing by The American Mustache Institute for all info pertaining and glorifying ye olde moustachio.Handlebars are my favourite.

/hgnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13646291.post-15147366555387392202007-07-16T12:58:00.000-04:002007-07-16T13:12:31.061-04:00

...These Crocs.You know... the shoes? Those awful bright foamy thing that are suited to children and gardeners -- but people wear anyways?I was chatting with a friend and discussing how a very close friend had really pissed me off (I was unduly harsh with a comment -- but before I could retract it, they sent me this incredibly insulting, contemptuous, bloated-with-ego pile of bullshit).You see,

/hgnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13646291.post-71831554016780662622007-07-12T23:38:00.000-04:002007-07-12T23:39:10.733-04:00

My bike is broken. I'm pissed.Raleigh, you do make a shitty bike these days.

/hgnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13646291.post-67083572634117586662007-07-12T00:54:00.000-04:002007-07-12T01:13:51.916-04:00

Some realizations are easy. A simple equation of A+B=C. Like the giant spot on your forehead is actually due to your bike helmet rubbing weirdly. Or that yes, the shirt you haven't worn since the early spring is going to fit differently during active summer months. Other realizations are harder. A truth ignored or avoided. Or perhaps even a lie told to yourself to keep you from making a move that

/hgnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13646291.post-84473723992132811932007-07-11T01:30:00.000-04:002007-07-12T01:16:50.832-04:00

I try to be peaceful with other living things -- well, things that don't spew bullshit rhetoric and condescending crap at me.I have a sort of live-and-let-live attitude with the bugs in my apartment (I still don't understand how we have so many, though expect it has a great deal to do with being surrounded by trees and large gaps in the screens). I try to avoid ants when walking on the sidewalks.

/hgnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13646291.post-47322307676464226802007-07-10T16:41:00.000-04:002007-07-10T16:45:49.071-04:00

I'm not sure which category of sin to file this under -- Dork, Loser or Lazy Fuck.But I accidentally spent most of this afternoon playing Starcraft. Yes, curled up in front of my PC on a gloriously stinking hot day playing a really old strategy game.So sad. So very, very sad.In my defense, it was really only meant to be the tiniest of distractions. Now I'm running around trying to make it look

/hgnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13646291.post-10454089212541678032007-07-09T23:45:00.000-04:002007-07-10T00:00:17.183-04:00

One of my more peculiar traits is the ability to appear fascinating to babies, toddlers and small children.As I sat at my laptop in Starfucks this afternoon, a woman came by the table next me as she waited for the bathroom to become available. She had a small son who couldn't have been more than 16 months or so -- and who stared at me, his little brown eyes utterly transfixed."I'm so sorry,"

/hgnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13646291.post-64817136431949646092007-07-08T22:25:00.000-04:002007-07-09T23:59:48.056-04:00

A rainy, humid, grey day.While I can never handle too many of these consecutively, I do love a morning waking to thunderstorms and the sounds of rain overflowing over the eaves. The barest hints of green moss creeping across the shingles covering the verandah. The absence of city sounds other than a car slicing wetly through the street. And while I did have a tennis date scheduled (and canceled),

/hgnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13646291.post-87971917008723820922007-07-06T11:54:00.000-04:002007-07-06T12:03:21.901-04:00

How easy is it to get out of the habit of doing something? You think you're busy for maybe a few weeks - a month or two tops - and when you look back, the seasons have changed over.There are things to report, but how do you summarize severals months? Well, you can't. My time has been mostly filled with mundane crap, a mess of temping (nothing like it to convince you that you really don't belong

/hgnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13646291.post-24273113643035503392007-04-18T23:13:00.000-04:002007-04-18T23:17:49.418-04:00

Sorry, kids, but I can only handle updates on one new-fangled piece of Internet sludge at a time.My birthday in less than an hour. Am going to ring it in the same way I did last year -- head down to the beach and sit on the rocks overlooking the lake.I feel old in some ways. In others, I can't believe I am actually as old as I am. There comes a time when we're suddenly and quite rudely aware of

/hgnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13646291.post-36446932940552382222007-04-01T22:02:00.000-04:002007-04-01T22:03:47.052-04:00

I've just joined Facebook. I should be shot.The weird thing is the uncanny number of people I know on it...I have so much work to do, little to no inclination to do it, and I'm running out of time. I'd like to fast-forward throught this week, please. Just hand me my money, and I'll be on my way.

/hgnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13646291.post-1806512390832443092007-03-27T11:28:00.000-04:002007-03-27T11:34:20.537-04:00

... of city when my windows are open. Rumbly trucks, cars hitting the speed bumps on my street far too fast, the senseless chittering of small children, the faint sounds of siren, streetcars and trains, and that consistent thrum of many cars off in the distance.It's gearing to be very nearly a lovely day with temperatures hovering in the 17-18C realm. I feel like I can breathe again -- that

/hgnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13646291.post-29579033584757435322007-03-27T00:09:00.000-04:002007-03-27T00:11:36.077-04:00

A friend just handed me a small kernal of hope. It's tiny, and its chances for survival are next to nil... but its potential is enormous.I'm scared to even talk about it in case I accidentally blow it away.

/hgnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13646291.post-25590270138417881312007-03-19T23:53:00.000-04:002007-03-20T00:02:29.297-04:00

I've been lax lately, but with round two of unhealthiness (had a week of break after round one, which was spent drinking and cavorting until round two moved in), spending several days in North Bay to watch my sibling's ex move his shit out (sister was picking up the little guy in Nova Scotia and wanted to make sure nothing went missing), and helping one of my dearest friends with her break-up and

/hgnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13646291.post-61700600573145410412007-03-14T23:36:00.000-04:002007-03-14T23:37:21.865-04:00

... It's thumbs-up, baby.

/hgnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13646291.post-17553907919028214862007-03-14T20:40:00.000-04:002007-03-14T20:43:35.627-04:00

I've been recruited for two days in northern Ontario at a military base.I'm to be spy for my sister, whose boy is moving out as I type this. My job is simply to ensure he takes nothing he's not entitled to.It's a fun job, made even more tantalizing by the fact that I'm alone, I have two cats circling and hissing at each other -- not to mention a cold compounded by allergies.Tomorrow I return home

/hgnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13646291.post-7813534225306932292007-03-08T01:17:00.000-05:002007-03-08T01:19:10.560-05:00

Listening to The Streets' "Irony Of It All" cheers me up enormously.

/hgnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13646291.post-90876897556645435342007-03-08T01:02:00.000-05:002007-03-08T01:16:00.641-05:00

Feeling lost tonight. Too much to do.Too much I've fallen behind on.Too much unfinished business, too many conversations unsaid. And there's far too much heartbreak going amongst friends and family in my tiny corner of the world.February and March never fail -- in my limited experience, anyway -- to bring misery, sadness, broken souls and death. And somehow, last night's horrible glimpse into the

/hgnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13646291.post-3875298389068729042007-03-07T00:49:00.000-05:002007-03-07T00:55:45.897-05:00

I did do good.Everytime I start to feel like my life is shit, occasioanlly the gods come and give me news that makes things less offensive.This evening, it was drinks with a friend and his lady friend.Amusingly, we grew up in the same hometown, and she even went to my high school for a year -- we suspect we shared a class. Even weirder was that we moved in similar circles, knowing the same people

/hgnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13646291.post-17527813848892744462007-03-04T12:44:00.000-05:002007-03-04T13:08:16.855-05:00

Boo, Tali. She tagged me and threatened me with ghosts. So now I have to write 10 random things about myself, and tag six other people to follow suit.1) I am a universal blood donor (this is useful you to know, I think)2) I once knocked over The Tragically Hip at a music industry party when I was drunk. Or at least that's the story. In actuality, I just kinda shoved my way through them and their

/hgnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13646291.post-61756701362512524992007-03-02T00:17:00.000-05:002007-03-02T00:45:21.466-05:00

Was leery of posting this, since I know the dear gal does tend to read this from time to time, but a very old friend of mine -- old in the since of knowing her for many years (since we were 10, to be exact) rather than in the geriatric sense -- has decided to tie the knot in a few months.For interest's sake, I wish I could say I have great misgivings for this couple -- but I truly believe that

/hgnoreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13646291.post-66466013350428514412007-03-02T00:07:00.000-05:002007-03-02T00:15:32.700-05:00

Everywhere I turn, there's seems to be a jumble of blech lately. Literally and figuratively.Whether it be the mess in the kitchen (or entire apartment), the one in my chest that has kept me tired and hacking into the wee hours of the morning, or even the one that exploded over a week ago when a close friend's relationship abruptly ended... I just can't keep up.I feel like I'm constantly behind on

/hgnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13646291.post-61794615345356244012007-02-27T01:18:00.000-05:002007-02-27T01:21:17.486-05:00

My sibling is finally finished her six months overseas and is on her way home.I'm not a big one for prayers, but it seems to me that a small "thank you" directed to the skies mightn't be remiss...

/hgnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13646291.post-12687899277801462412007-02-25T23:00:00.000-05:002007-02-25T23:02:22.645-05:00

I do believe I'm getting soft in my old age.I very nearly became a bit misty-eyed during Heroes this evening.I always knew there was something more to HRG.Still find "Claire Bear" a creepy nickname, though.

/hgnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13646291.post-433636107581500452007-02-24T15:35:00.000-05:002007-02-24T15:38:34.804-05:00

I've been neglectful. Mostly had nothing to say, but likely primarily due to a virus which has recently crawled into my lungs and has taken up residence.I'm antsy, achy and irritable. And sick of coughing.But most of all, I'm frustrated, becasue I was starting to hit my stride with a piece of trash I'm working on, and I can barely stand to be at a computer for more than five or 10 minutes.Which

/hgnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13646291.post-62609258547186355612007-02-19T01:10:00.000-05:002007-02-19T01:19:18.658-05:00

Went for a short walk with a friend and her dog this evening and while I was mostly well-protected from the very icy cold (even down to polar fleece long underwear -- so sexy), I came home with a numb face. An hour later, I had a seriously nasty chill going on.So I decided to take a long, hot bath with a trashy book... And noticed that my nail beds were purple.Apparently this is common for cold

/hgnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13646291.post-47380117011477455462007-02-17T02:12:00.000-05:002007-02-17T02:19:19.459-05:00

There are times when the world seems unnnecessarily harsh or hateful. Whether it's the banks chasing you down for overdue student loan (or credit card) payments, the apathy of others in your chosen career or even the monstrous words that come from your own mouth (or fingertips, in some cases), sometimes the universe lets up just enough to say, "Hey, it's nothing personal lately. Sometimes things

/hgnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13646291.post-1171236251557405392007-02-11T18:09:00.000-05:002007-02-11T18:24:11.623-05:00

If you are in a committed relationship and living with your partner, attending a wedding can be a precarious thing indeed.You see, I've no wish to be married. Ever.Chalk it up to a lifetime of watching most marriages fail spectacularly, or in other cases, last with longtime resentments and/or eventual estrangement -- regardless of living arrangements. It adds up to the same thing -- in most (

/hgnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13646291.post-1170866694062141872007-02-07T11:39:00.000-05:002007-02-07T11:54:57.526-05:00

Even in the natural world, women have about had it with men.According to this story posted on Yahoo! News, there's a bacteria running amok in the butterfly world.It changes male butterflies into female, allows female butterflies to reproduce on their own and even makes females a lot sluttier. And in many cases, kills the male butterflies right off.So while this is good news for the few remaining

/hgnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13646291.post-1170828073160804632007-02-07T00:37:00.000-05:002007-02-07T01:01:13.193-05:00

After running around last week like a chicken with its head cut off, this week's pace has slowed considerably... only to thrust some weirdness into my week.The first was an adieu to someone I had known only a short time -- and the circumstances were less than ideal, what with said person deciding to shit all over me in a half-assed, overtly generalized email. End result? They lost my respect, my

/hgnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13646291.post-1170404217088482462007-02-02T03:16:00.000-05:002007-02-02T03:16:57.223-05:00

Uhhh.... yeah. That's me.

/hgnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13646291.post-1170305043737088642007-01-31T23:43:00.000-05:002007-01-31T23:44:03.766-05:00

After one of those ridiculously busy and somewhat vexing days (by golly, the streetcar karma was seriously lacking today) I'm in the process of indulging in one of my favourite evenings.I've been home (didn't get home until well after 8:30).I've eaten. Decided to take a hot bath (fragranced with H20's lovely and indulgent Lime Cassis bath gel).I have on clean pajamas decorated with yellow bath

/hgnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13646291.post-1169770353300755832007-01-25T19:08:00.000-05:002007-01-25T19:12:33.363-05:00

I'm having such ballet flashbacks.Though I rather enjoy the story.Click on the headline for the full story (and pics!) MAN IN TIGHTS: Haute legs! We test the next step in fashionNiiiice.

/hgnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13646291.post-1169616295340074522007-01-24T00:21:00.000-05:002007-01-24T00:24:55.360-05:00

I'd been having a pretty good week -- good writing moments (or so I thought), lots of energy and feeling strangely optimistic about my future.Today I woke up with the sense that all those groovy vibes were sliding away. By mid-afternoon, they were almost completely gone.I was left with the sense of pending failure, serious doubts about any writing ability I might have, and major stress about my

/hgnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13646291.post-1169450651645852452007-01-22T02:19:00.000-05:002007-01-22T02:27:07.440-05:00

Let it be known I hate winter...But if ever there was a part of winter that I loved, it is those eerie late nights when the sky is deep grey with a hue of orange, and the snows falls. Quiet, thick and delicately coating the city in a cloak of white silence. No footfalls in the snows. No tires on the road. Only that icy lace and the absence of sound. A white slumber.And during these moments, the

/hgnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13646291.post-1169246121525502932007-01-19T17:33:00.000-05:002007-01-19T22:13:40.380-05:00

I found my book project. THE project. And I'm scared to death.There's so much research to be done that it just about makes me want to weep. So I shall. *sob*How does Annie Proulx whip up a book in three months? I think this one might take me a year... at least.

/hgnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13646291.post-1169225131280625452007-01-19T11:42:00.000-05:002007-01-19T11:46:31.933-05:00

You heard it from my horoscope first... I've been encouraged to be horrible and assertive and tell people they can just fuck off."...the stars say you should seek out conflict today. You're not one for confrontation, but it is sometimes a necessary evil, and it's something you should perhaps work on becoming more comfortable with."Those stars are such troublemakers.So who's first?

/hgnoreply@blogger.com0